There is a shift that happens in a lot of families; over time, or sometimes seemingly overnight. Mom or Dad can no longer comfortably manage the stairs, or maybe they’re struggling to maintain the house. Assisted living could be financially out of reach, or perhaps everyone simply realizes that having an aging parent living alone isn’t working anymore.
The plan that often makes the most sense is to move in with the kids, which raises a big question: does the house actually work for multiple generations living together?
Multigenerational living is on the rise
I’ve been seeing more families look at multigenerational real estate as a practical solution for aging parents, adult children, and families who need more flexibility from their housing. The research backs this up.
Pew Research Center found that 22% of Americans age 65 and older lived in a multigenerational family household in 2023, up from 17% in 1990. Across the entire U.S. population, 22% of Americans lived in a multigenerational household in 2024, compared with 13% in 1970.
What families need to think about before they start touring houses
You’re making a real estate decision that needs to work for several different stages of life, so here are some important considerations before you buy.
The house needs to work for Mom and Dad now
One of the biggest challenges I see is finding a house where everyone can live comfortably without putting an older parent upstairs and hoping for the best.
For example, a beautiful two-story home with four bedrooms, three bathrooms, and a huge bonus room can look perfect on a listing sheet; then you get there and realize the only bedroom on the main floor is tiny, the primary suite is upstairs, and the guest bathroom has a bathtub that someone with mobility issues can’t safely use.
When I’m helping a family look at a multigenerational home, I’m thinking about things that aren’t always obvious in the MLS listing.
- Can the older parent live on the main floor?
- Is there a full bathroom near the main floor bedroom?
- Can they get into the house without navigating stairs?
- Is there enough room for a walker or wheelchair if that becomes necessary later?
- Where are the laundry room and kitchen?
- What happens if their mobility changes?
A 2026 AARP study found that 68% of adults 50 and older consider universal design features important, including wider doorways and hallways, nonslip flooring, step-free showers, and grab bars or handrails.
By the way, these features don’t have to make a house feel like a medical facility. (A wider hallway is useful when you’re carrying groceries, and a step-free shower is great for a toddler too!)
Don’t forget that the younger generation has to like the house, too
You don’t want to end up buying a house you (or your kids) resent living in because every decision was made around someone else’s needs. Maybe the grandparents need a first-floor bedroom. Fine. But what does the rest of the family need?
A teenager might need privacy, an adult child might work from home, someone may want a quiet office, and someone else may want a backyard with space to play.
This is where the floor plan matters much more than the number of bedrooms. I’ve seen families look at houses with plenty of square footage that simply don’t function well for the people who need to live there. You can have 3,500 square feet and still feel like everyone is sitting on top of each other, whereas a smaller house with the right layout can work beautifully.
A ranch-style home with a main-level bedroom and bathroom can be incredibly useful. So can a house with a separate living area, an additional bedroom suite, or a bonus space that could eventually become an office, bedroom, or private sitting area. I’ve also seen families find good options in newer construction neighborhoods where the basic floor plan offers main-level living with additional bedrooms or a bonus room upstairs.
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The money matters more than people sometimes realize
The reason families consider multigenerational living is often financial. According to CareScout, assisted community living in the Raleigh Metro averages $9,000 per month, and a private room in a nursing home costs $11,437.
With those kinds of numbers, it’s easy to see why professional care is beyond many retirees’ reach. However, that doesn’t mean moving Mom and Dad in with you is always the financially smarter choice. Even if they live with you, there are still caregiving costs, renovations, utilities, food, transportation, and, sometimes, a family member reducing work hours to provide care. The point is that families need to look at the whole picture.
If you’re considering buying a larger home so three generations can live together, I would want to know:
- What will the new mortgage payment be?
- What will it cost to sell the existing homes?
- Does anyone need to contribute cash or equity?
- Will the older parent contribute toward housing expenses?
- Will the house need modifications?
- What happens if one person eventually needs professional care?
- What happens to the house if the family arrangement changes?
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So, is multigenerational living right for your family?
For some families, multigenerational living can be a wonderful arrangement. Grandparents get to spend more time with their children and grandchildren, families can share housing costs, and an aging parent may be able to stay close to family rather than moving straight into a care facility. For other families, it can create stress that a bigger house can’t fix.
If you’re considering a multigenerational move in Holly Springs, Apex, Fuquay-Varina, or the surrounding Triangle, I’d start with the real estate conversation before you start falling in love with houses. We can look at what you already own, what you might need to sell, what kind of floor plan would actually work, and what happens if life changes again. I’m here if you want to chat!